Action

There was something in me that cared about orphans. Some small seed of compassion for lonely children. But it was muted, tucked away in the corners of a busy life. The days, hours, the thousands and thousands of stacked up minutes full of insignificant details have crowded out that drum in my heart.

Adopting is changing that. It's taking me over. My daughter is being chosen for me, but she is one of so many. I am faced with the truth of her beginnings every moment that she is in my thoughts. How could I not be changed? How will I be able to look into her brown eyes and not see her brothers and sisters?

I don't want my life to be the same. I don't want to ever lose sight of the eternal things. I want to remember the plight of the orphan day in and day out. I don't want to just care. I want to act. I want my money, my time, my prayers, my thoughts, my love to be full of intention.

I keep thinking of a quote by Sydney Smith, "It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can." Sometimes I have felt paralyzed to follow the things in my heart that most make me come alive because I want to do big things, but what I have to give feels so small. It really boils down to selfishness and pride. I don't want to live that way another moment. I want to give what I can. I want to be a woman of action.