Dream

I had the most beautiful dream. I was in Rwanda. I met my baby. She was sitting up, looking around the room when I first saw her. Little brown arms, little brown fingers. Her shirt was light purple and I remember my first thought was how beautiful her skin was, her lips and cheeks pink hued and luminescent. In my dream I didn't know if it was because I was totally biased already or if she really was so beautiful, but I was shocked at how completely breathtaking she was. We stood a long time cheek to cheek, trying to get the feel of each other. She was heavy in my arms. I didn't want to put her down. Ever.

I woke. The darkness in my room instantly became darker. It was a dream. It wasn't her soft skin pressing my face, it was my old, lumpy pillow. Sighing, I pushed the covers back, padded quietly down the hall and went to find my computer. Maybe today would be the day. Maybe that sweet little face would be waiting in my in-box. So, as I have done every morning for the last 5 months, I tentatively opened my account and scanned the sender list. Amazon.com special. Botox Add. Facebook Comment. Nothing. Empty. Oh, to have words to describe this feeling.

I don't know what the future holds or when the last chapter of this journey will open and unfold. My little girl may be nothing like the girl in my dreams, I know that. She may be crying when I first meet her. Maybe her skin won't glow or her lips look like candy hearts. But I love her, whoever she is. I don't understand why this all is taking so very long. But I am going to wait. And I am going to trust that God will complete the work He started.